Can a virgin forget her ornaments, or a
bride her attire? Yet my people have forgotten Me days without
number. Jeremiah 2:32
This is not where I wanted to go
today...but here we are. You wrestle with the passages God gives.
It has been hard around here lately for
the reason of the verse above. It is being lived out in the life of a
family member, and has been true in the lives of a lot of family and
friends over the years. They have “committed” themselves in
marriage only to forsake or be forsaken by their spouse, what those
clothes represented, forgetting the things they promised, the person
they claimed to love til death parts them, and the commitment they
made to look not elsewhere for the love and companionship. It is so
hard to watch. And it is hard for the “forgeter” to explain
away. I am sure that when gals look at their dresses after a period
of time, they have one of two responses...joy and gratefulness, or a
shudder of “what did I get myself into.” They forget, or choose
to forget, the joy of that day of commitment, the hope of a bright
future together. No one stands there thinking that anything could go
wrong, that any trial will separate them, that any other person could
know them and love them the way the one they are marrying could.
Expectations are high that together they can conquer anything. And
then reality hits. That person you thought you knew well, you find
you don't know at all. The goals you thought you had with the other
you find were more dreams than true plans. Things aren't what you
thought they would be, though you really don't know what it is you
did expect. It is the adjustment to the real person you married AND
learning about yourself and your own responses to unrealized
expectations that makes the first years, and sometimes subsequent
years challenging at times.
But this is God we are talking about.
He is the perfect husband. He knows us better than we know ourselves.
He knows what we need, how we need to grow, and how to comfort,
direct, correct, and protect us. And yet we question His love for us
and sometimes even rue the day we “married” Him. We want to
forget the commitment to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind,
and strength. We want to walk away for a while at least and do our
own thing, seek our own good and glory, and try things on our own. We
forsake the very one who loved and wooed us. And the longer we choose
to stay away, the more we forget the one who loved us and still
stands waiting for us to come home. He warns of how the wandering
bride will fall into shame and not have a better life with the others
they think will offer them such a thing. True contentment will only
be found by returning to the one who never stopped loving them, but
they just can't seem to humble themselves and admit their sin and
straying and come home. Few find the path back. And there is great
sorrow all the way around. Even the land suffers and moans with the
consequences of such a violation of God's love. We tend to think of
violating God's law, and we forget that when we wander from God and
His presence, we are violating more than just a set of rules. The
rules are to warn us that we are wandering in our hearts. They
sometimes stun us into wondering what we are doing. When I think
about stealing or cheating, I surprise myself with my own selfishness
and sinfulness. The commandments not to do these things let me know
that those tendencies in my heart are not having the mind of God. And
that if I act on them, I am far from the heart of God. I have left
God's presence, thinking that He does not see or does not care. I
convince myself that He is too strict or stingy or or demanding
instead of seeing that I am too self-serving, greedy, and demanding
things that God has chosen not to give me at this point and time FOR
MY OWN GOOD. He always has my good in mind, and when Satan deceives
me into thinking that he has more to offer than God does, I fall for
the lie. When I fall for the lie about God's love for me, it is no
wonder I fall for the lie that my husband does not love me. When I
think God doesn't understand me, I can't expect to think that my
husband does. Satan makes anything else look more appealing, more
fulfilling, and more profitable than the true love and faithness of
our husbands, spiritual or earthly. HE IS A DIRTY, ROTTEN LIAR bent
on our destruction by giving us what we think we need instead of
allowing us to be content and joyful with the beauty of what we have.
It doesn't start with our husbands, it
starts with a lie about God, about the purpose of marriage, and the
enticement that we are missing something better. We forget the dress,
the white, the love that will fulfill if we trusted that God brought
us there. We have to set our minds on things above, and not just on
the earthly things. We need to give God our expectations and live
each day grateful for the grace He gives us to make it through this
earthly journey, and being willing to not call this place our home
and set our hopes on the world to come. There will be no
disappointment there. People will let us down, will disappoint, will
act in their own interests and not always treat us the way we want to
be treated. But they will also play the role of loving us in ways we
need, to treat us better at times than we deserve to be treated. Two
are better than one, it says in Proverbs and Ecclesiates. God knew He
was so much different than us that He gave us other people, and
people of the opposite sex to make us a whole, dependent on one
another, but not whole without fellowship with Him. Life is not what
we hope, but it is good. Not until we are never tempted to sin or
have to put up with the sins of ourselves and others will those deep
holes in our souls be totally filled. Until then, dear Beloved of the
Lord, hang in there! Be the bride you are supposed to be (or the
groom, if you are a dude) and work together to draw each other closer
to the image of Christ. Don't forget the wedding dress, the
commitment and promise of the Groom, and be like Sarah and do not
fear. God's plan is always for our good. Don't believe the lie. Say
yes to the dress.
