Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Resaying Yes to the Dress

Can a virgin forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire? Yet my people have forgotten Me days without number. Jeremiah 2:32

This is not where I wanted to go today...but here we are. You wrestle with the passages God gives.
It has been hard around here lately for the reason of the verse above. It is being lived out in the life of a family member, and has been true in the lives of a lot of family and friends over the years. They have “committed” themselves in marriage only to forsake or be forsaken by their spouse, what those clothes represented, forgetting the things they promised, the person they claimed to love til death parts them, and the commitment they made to look not elsewhere for the love and companionship. It is so hard to watch. And it is hard for the “forgeter” to explain away. I am sure that when gals look at their dresses after a period of time, they have one of two responses...joy and gratefulness, or a shudder of “what did I get myself into.” They forget, or choose to forget, the joy of that day of commitment, the hope of a bright future together. No one stands there thinking that anything could go wrong, that any trial will separate them, that any other person could know them and love them the way the one they are marrying could. Expectations are high that together they can conquer anything. And then reality hits. That person you thought you knew well, you find you don't know at all. The goals you thought you had with the other you find were more dreams than true plans. Things aren't what you thought they would be, though you really don't know what it is you did expect. It is the adjustment to the real person you married AND learning about yourself and your own responses to unrealized expectations that makes the first years, and sometimes subsequent years challenging at times.
But this is God we are talking about. He is the perfect husband. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what we need, how we need to grow, and how to comfort, direct, correct, and protect us. And yet we question His love for us and sometimes even rue the day we “married” Him. We want to forget the commitment to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. We want to walk away for a while at least and do our own thing, seek our own good and glory, and try things on our own. We forsake the very one who loved and wooed us. And the longer we choose to stay away, the more we forget the one who loved us and still stands waiting for us to come home. He warns of how the wandering bride will fall into shame and not have a better life with the others they think will offer them such a thing. True contentment will only be found by returning to the one who never stopped loving them, but they just can't seem to humble themselves and admit their sin and straying and come home. Few find the path back. And there is great sorrow all the way around. Even the land suffers and moans with the consequences of such a violation of God's love. We tend to think of violating God's law, and we forget that when we wander from God and His presence, we are violating more than just a set of rules. The rules are to warn us that we are wandering in our hearts. They sometimes stun us into wondering what we are doing. When I think about stealing or cheating, I surprise myself with my own selfishness and sinfulness. The commandments not to do these things let me know that those tendencies in my heart are not having the mind of God. And that if I act on them, I am far from the heart of God. I have left God's presence, thinking that He does not see or does not care. I convince myself that He is too strict or stingy or or demanding instead of seeing that I am too self-serving, greedy, and demanding things that God has chosen not to give me at this point and time FOR MY OWN GOOD. He always has my good in mind, and when Satan deceives me into thinking that he has more to offer than God does, I fall for the lie. When I fall for the lie about God's love for me, it is no wonder I fall for the lie that my husband does not love me. When I think God doesn't understand me, I can't expect to think that my husband does. Satan makes anything else look more appealing, more fulfilling, and more profitable than the true love and faithness of our husbands, spiritual or earthly. HE IS A DIRTY, ROTTEN LIAR bent on our destruction by giving us what we think we need instead of allowing us to be content and joyful with the beauty of what we have.

It doesn't start with our husbands, it starts with a lie about God, about the purpose of marriage, and the enticement that we are missing something better. We forget the dress, the white, the love that will fulfill if we trusted that God brought us there. We have to set our minds on things above, and not just on the earthly things. We need to give God our expectations and live each day grateful for the grace He gives us to make it through this earthly journey, and being willing to not call this place our home and set our hopes on the world to come. There will be no disappointment there. People will let us down, will disappoint, will act in their own interests and not always treat us the way we want to be treated. But they will also play the role of loving us in ways we need, to treat us better at times than we deserve to be treated. Two are better than one, it says in Proverbs and Ecclesiates. God knew He was so much different than us that He gave us other people, and people of the opposite sex to make us a whole, dependent on one another, but not whole without fellowship with Him. Life is not what we hope, but it is good. Not until we are never tempted to sin or have to put up with the sins of ourselves and others will those deep holes in our souls be totally filled. Until then, dear Beloved of the Lord, hang in there! Be the bride you are supposed to be (or the groom, if you are a dude) and work together to draw each other closer to the image of Christ. Don't forget the wedding dress, the commitment and promise of the Groom, and be like Sarah and do not fear. God's plan is always for our good. Don't believe the lie. Say yes to the dress.